From ‘Sick and Screaming’ to Endless Shenanigans: Person Gets Adopted by the Derpiest Kitten Who Is Always Causing Chaos

Author image for Mariel Ruvinsky
Mariel Ruvinsky • Writer and Editor
Oct 1, 2024 9:00 AM EDT

The thing about the Cat Distribution System is that it doesn't ask questions. It doesn't ask you whether you want to adopt a cat or not, it just presents you with one. You don't get to choose your cat. Your cat adopts you. And that's the whole point. Once your cat chooses you, there are no take backsies. You just have to deal with whatever you get. Sometimes, you will be adopted by a cute little kitten, sometimes by a sweet snuggle-bug velcro kitty, other times by a soft and kind senior cat.

And sometimes, the Cat Distribution System will gift you - yes, gift - with a little chaos machine in the form of a hyperactive derpy as heck kitten. And yes, you will be thankful for it. You will be thankful for it each and every day, because every moment of chaos with your little kitty will be the biggest blessing. 

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  • 01
    r/cats • 8 days ago emilyMartian Got chosen by a derp Cat Picture Here's a couple favorites of my ridiculous amount of photos. From sick and screaming to get out of the cage (June 7th) to current day (6mnths old). I wish I could have gotten his brother but sadly only one was in my stars. His name is Fetamus Maximus aka Feta
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    One thing that we would like to say is: thank you. Thank you for attaching all of these pictures, all of this proof. Because it's one thing to say that your cat derpy, we probably all say that after they do some silly things, but this cat… this cat is truly one of the biggest proven derps that we have seen.

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    Hill's Nutrition from Hill's helps make me healthy, happy and ready for my home
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    Like- look at that. Even that other kitten in the cage knows that something is weird here. The look in its eyes. It understands that little white fluffy kitten is chaotic as heck. And we love it. We love it so much that we simply have to know more about this little guy as he grows older. 

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    WILMINGTON DATE 03.16.13 ודודו
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    OrganicHoneydew • 8d ago oh my god you are both so lucky!!!!!!! he looks so silly and sweet ✩ 1.5K 1.5K Reply
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    emilyMartian OP • 8d ago • There were 15 kittens in those cages. I just lost 2 of my 3 back to back. One was a white flame point. In no way did I want a white one ③ but this guy shot his head up, fixated on me and started screaming his head off. The adoption lady said "We don't know nothin' bout his personality but he sure is the loudest." I said "sounds like my kind of a hole!"
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    One of my friends said they always wondered who adopted the crazy ones. Apparently that's me. Turns out I think he was dying in the cage from Giardia and while yes he's a nutter, he's also very wonderful. Now if only I could convince him to stop trying to eat my anxiety filled other cat that'd be great. But darn it he sure is cute. > 1K ⇓ Reply ...
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    Excellent_Drink_138 •8d ago ⚫ the other kitten in the first photo is so adorable as well 452 Reply ...
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    emilyMartian OP • 8d ago • I know my boyfriend told me to go back and get him. It was so tempting but financially from my other two passing this would be a bad decision. I sure do wish I could have. 293 Reply
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    cvr24.8d ago Your cat is 100% certified derp ↑ 2125 Reply
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    emilyMartian OP • 8d ago 12 It runs very strong in him 463 463 Reply
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    emilyMartian 7d ago • HellfireReads • 139 Reply ⚫ ... Reply
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    DI emilyMartian OP • 7d ago Omg hahahah totally him
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